i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
