Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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