# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Randomize
