you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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