the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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