im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize