I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
