so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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