She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize