idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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