pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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