I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize