he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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