i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
