Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
