So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
