She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
