4 words: hood of his car
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
