You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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