So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
