Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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