I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
