Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
