I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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