I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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