i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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