Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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