I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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