Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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