we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
