I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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