im having a threesome with these popsicles
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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