Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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