i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
