Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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