I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
