Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
