I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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