The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize