nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
