How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize