His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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