I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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