just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize