I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
