member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The best revenge is premature balding
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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