I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize