yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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