He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
ttyl tear gas
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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