Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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