pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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