So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
