rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
