I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
