Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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