i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
