Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
