I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
