I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
