remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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