He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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