She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
