This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
