I puked a lego.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
