yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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