I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we made out on top of his cat.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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