guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
