I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
