it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
They are going to name an STD after you.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
