Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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