So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
